Sometimes I just miss him. I miss what happened and what never happened. I miss wishing and dreaming about it all the time. I miss the idea of what could have been. I miss everything.

Selfish

I am a very selfish person. I wish that I wasn't. I wish I could be less needy and less concerned about me. I'm going to work on it. It's something about myself that most definitely needs improvement.

Dear February 14th,

You're killing me. This year, you're really killing me.

1 year!

Well, I have hit the one year mark since I first started my battle against the pounds. I've lost 35 pounds in one year, which I am pretty proud of. I'm not at my final goal yet, but I'd like to think I'll get there in a few months. I never was quite sure if I could do it, but I did. Although I sometimes forget how big the change was, or it feels like I haven't changed at all, I just have to look in the mirror at the new me and be proud of what I helped myself become. When I first started to majorly complain about my weight and looks, my mom told me to change the things I could and love the things I couldn't. I'm so glad I listened to her, and I feel good because this is the body that I worked for. Even though it's not perfect, it's still beautiful.

People can be jerks

When the people you love best screw you over, that's when it sucks the most.

That's when it also takes longer and longer to forgive and forget.

I hate being a teenager/adult. I hate feeling like I have no control over my emotions. It just ends up being too much. I feel too much, big feelings, too big. I hate this.

Listless pretty much sums it up.