I hate being a teenager/adult. I hate feeling like I have no control over my emotions. It just ends up being too much. I feel too much, big feelings, too big. I hate this.

Listless pretty much sums it up.

Twenty Ten

I think I'm an insomniac. Sleep and I used to be best friends. Now there's a gigantic rift through our relationship.

The headaches are back. Thank you, SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

My resolutions for the big year - 2010 - are extremely difficult to keep:

1) Don't eat chocolate.
2) Don't eat junk food.
3) Don't drink pop.
4) Lose weight
5) Don't hate the snow. It's part of God's creation, too.
6) Don't hate on people. They're part of God's creation, too.
7) Don't gossip.
8) Don't stress out so much you get sick.
9) Make it to All-States.
10) Be positive.

Lost

I am a brand new Lost fan.

Abby has always wanted someone to discuss the show with her, so over vacation, I began all the way back at Season One with about 108 episodes to watch.

I then watched 24 of those episodes in less than 72 hours.

Ridiculous, I know. But I officially love the show. It's so good. And it's just one of those things where you can't stop watching, and after six hours of watching it has gone by, you've barely even noticed!

Kind of like Bones.

Oh, and Avatar. I saw that the other day, too. Unfortunately, it wasn't in 3D, but it was still a completely awesome movie. I can't wait to watch it again.

Sadly, all of this...watching stuff...doesn't leave very much time for reading. Don't worry. I'll fix that soon.

Rough, rough, rough day.

Can I just go back to sleep, wake up, and start it all over again?

I bounce back. I always do. Just give me a couple weeks.

This time, though...it really sucks.

Enamored

Ok. I'll admit it.

I HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!

And you know...I'm finally ok with it. Sure, it will probably amount to nothing, but for once, I'm ok with that. Simply having a crush and having something and someone to look forward to is extremely nice. As long as I go into this knowing that it won't turn out how I'm hoping, then I will be ok.

And I leave for vacation in four days. I will then have approximately two weeks to get over this silly infatuation and start fresh for the new year.

It's all going to be just fine.

For once, I am not going to hide or run from my feelings.

It's about time I let go a little bit.

Lightbulb

Just because I am the way I am doesn't mean that's how I want to stay.

I know I've made choices, but I've also just been waiting for a long time.

I'd like to say it was worth it, but I don't know if that's entirely true anymore.