Rough, rough, rough day.

Can I just go back to sleep, wake up, and start it all over again?

I bounce back. I always do. Just give me a couple weeks.

This time, though...it really sucks.

Enamored

Ok. I'll admit it.

I HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!

And you know...I'm finally ok with it. Sure, it will probably amount to nothing, but for once, I'm ok with that. Simply having a crush and having something and someone to look forward to is extremely nice. As long as I go into this knowing that it won't turn out how I'm hoping, then I will be ok.

And I leave for vacation in four days. I will then have approximately two weeks to get over this silly infatuation and start fresh for the new year.

It's all going to be just fine.

For once, I am not going to hide or run from my feelings.

It's about time I let go a little bit.

Lightbulb

Just because I am the way I am doesn't mean that's how I want to stay.

I know I've made choices, but I've also just been waiting for a long time.

I'd like to say it was worth it, but I don't know if that's entirely true anymore.

"He is before all things, and in Him, all things hold together." Colossians 1:17

Sucktastic = Fantastic!

So...the day was iffy. I have a beyond-fabulous Yearbook Staff who have been working their butts off to make deadline, and I'm extremely impressed with them. We are...drumroll please...GOING TO MAKE DEADLINE!!! This will the first time in about five years, so I am thoroughly and completely pumped. The girls are doing such a great job, and I'm really proud of them.

There was a disgusting amount of wind today, and it was freezing. Oh, PA. You're trying to kill me. And there were power surges, which meant our Yearbook pictures temporarily disappeared. Seriously...I am totally going to get shingles again from all of this off and on stress. Ugh!

I have four tests tomorrow, unfortunately in all of my super-hard classes. Not good.

Tonight was my very last high school Christmas concert EVER. I had a little sad-fest with Kreig and Ben (I'll miss them so much!); however, our singing left...a little to be desired. So I'm not as sad as I normally would be.

But to end this interesting day, the most wonderful thing in the world occurred (besides meeting Prince Charming and living happily ever after or getting to go to Heaven right this very second). GLEEEEEEE!!!!!! The season finale (I'm so sad it's over) was incredible! I cried, of course, and then I cried some more at the end at the most beautiful happy ending in the world.

And it just made me stick to my decision a little bit more:

There is no way on earth I am settling for anything less than Prince Charming.

December Resolutions

Our holiday dance show was yesterday. I had so much fun dancing with all of my friends and hanging out with the little girls backstage and entertaining them so they wouldn't think about how much they missed their moms (it worked MOST of the time).

I'm trying this new thing. It's called respecting people. I've always been very respectful to people to their faces, but recently, I've found that I have become a very disrespectful person towards people behind their backs, and I know for a fact that a person who supposedly loves Jesus would not purposely try to do that. Therefore, I am attempting a total life change. It's extremely, extremely difficult. It pretty much just comes naturally to take it out on people without them knowing when they make you angry. It's a work in progress, I guess, but people deserve respect and love, so it's worth it completely.

I've also decided just recently that I am going to consider actually giving the whole "dating" thing a chance. My standards are very high, and while I'm not planning on lowering them and settling, I've decided to give guys more of a chance to impress me. I refuse to become cynical at age 18, and I'm still going to keep believing in true love even while seeing all of the crappy, crumbling relationships around me.

Also, I read this verse the other night in my devotionals, and it was just what I needed. I just needed to share it with everyone."Yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken..." Isaiah 54:10

That is why I am not giving up on true love. I know it exists because it was created by my awesome, incredible God. I'm so grateful to have a God who adores who I am, faults and all.

We're so blessed.