Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Tiny Pieces

This has been on my mind for a really long time.

I have been single for a while, and it's basically going ok for me. I'm too nervous when I'm in a relationship to do anything more than hold hands, and I just recently realized how super independent I actually am.

I have found, though, that many of the girls around me have to constantly be dating someone. It's like they were programmed at birth to never be content with being single.

In my opinion, every time you date someone, you give a tiny little piece of yourself away. Every time you hold hands, that's another tiny little piece you give away. I think that when you keep dating, holding hands, and anything else you decide to do, you just keep slowly chipping away at yourself.

Personally, I want to be as whole as possible when I meet my future husband. I don't want to give pieces of myself away to some boy that I will forget about. I don't want to give pieces of myself away to someone who doesn't fall into the category of that person I could spend the rest of my life with.

If you think this sounds funny, then you're probably right. It is a little different.

Basically, it's dating to marry, or in other words, courting.

I don't date people unless they are someone who has all of the qualities I would want in a future husband. Obviously, my type of dating strategy doesn't fit in with normal high schoolers.

But that's ok. Maybe I'm not normal.

But when I find happily ever after - when I find that guy - I want to be whole for him.

After all - wouldn't I want him to be whole for me?

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