Monday, September 14, 2009

Patience Is a Virtue?


How do we know for sure that when we're crushing on someone, we're not completely wasting our time? I mean, really. I don't want to be sitting here pining over a guy who isn't the one that God has planned for me. That seems like an entire waste my life!

I think God should just be like, "Alright. You should do this now. You should crush on this person because you're going to marry him/her someday. Everything will work out fine. No worries."

I know that I should be patient. I know that God has someone and something incredible planned for my life. But still...I just want things to be easier. I just want things to make more sense.


  1. Hey Kelsey,
    Well, yes. Patience is a virtue.
    But I don't know how to answer your question.
    I guess, the answer is prayer. Haha, God is the answer to everything, really, and I should trust Him with my emotions and interests more often, I think.
    At the moment, my dilemma is that I think my heart if falling for this guy that I don't want to fall for because 1) he is like, WAY older than me (okay, well, 5 years... which is still alot!) and 2) I don't think he's my guy-for-the-long-run. (haha, that cause there is this other guy who seems perfect for the job... lol) and it's really confusing.
    That last paragraph is pretty much what I would say right now - and I think the only answer that we have is to turn to God and seek Him to give us the desires of our heart and to reveal to us His perfect plan and timing for all things. Or at least give us peace that it IS going to happen.

  2. Okay, I'm going to say this with the understanding of your feelings/beliefs regarding dating around, so bear with me. I happen to think that everything happens for a reason and is part of God's bigger plan. While you may not think that a guy is your "guy-for-the-long-run" (I like that term Rachael!) it doesn't mean that he isn't intended to be your "guy-for-right-now". Maybe God intends for you to be with him at this point because you are supposed to learn from him and grow because of your experiences with him. And who is to say that he doesn't grow into your "guy-for-the-long-run" over time as he grows and changes because of his experiences in life with you? Does that make sense? I never thought J and I would end up married when we first started dating, but over time I realized that he was/is the one-- but things definitely changed with us before that happened.

  3. Rachel - First of all, I don't really think that five years is that big of a difference. I always find myself going for the older guys. Keep me posted on these guys, ok? And yeah. You're right. God isn't telling me WHO to date but at least I'll have peace that someday there will be someone just for me.
    Heather (I forced myself to type that and not Mrs. Onderko or Miss Heather lol) - Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from and for respecting what I think; however, you really made me think about some things. People do change, and it does make a lot of sense that people would grow into a certain role, especially since none of us ever really stay the same. It does make a lot of sense to me. Thanks. I have a lot to think about now.

  4. Well, Yeah, I guess 5 years isn't that much, but when you are 16 it seems like it (and even more so to mum and dad and, well, everybody!). I'm not sure. See, well okay, this is a long story but I think I'll say it...
    This guy who is like 5 years older... we'll call him Joe. So, I go on a missions trip with 20 other homeschooler teens from our base school. One of these brings their older brother - Joe. He came because 1) he wanted to, and 2) because he, like, has brains and helped to design the pathway cover thing we built. So, anyway, I have fun hanging out with him during the week that we are there, we tease each other mercilessly, and generally just have a good ol' time. THEN on like the 2nd last day of the trip, I'm sitting on the beach with two of the teachers (they're married) and they were well, pretty much matchmaking people from the trip. And I (being 14 at the time, and oh so naive) asked 'oh, well, who would you pick for me?' and they looked at each other, nodded and said 'joe.' and so I kinda convinced myself that because they said this that we were all perfect and would end up together and stuff. So we txted a bit, and email occasionally and he's called two or three times. But I find our relationship really... hmm, well awkward. I find it hard to just be myself and not worry and not focus on the things that those teachers said.
    And the other guy... Matt. :) is the brother of my small group leader at youth. (so, that kind of rules out talking to her about it all... i mean, how do you go up to someone and say 'hey, I think your brother is really cute and Godly and I'd like to go out with him someday'?!?!?) He leads worship, and everytime he gets up to do a message at youth it really challenges and inspires me. We've known each other for a few years, and can stop to say hi and chat for a little while, and I actually enjoy it and don't worry about what others think. So, in some ways, he seems more like someone that I'd want to pursue a relationship with, but the whole fact of what these teacher's said kinda haunts me.
    So, that is my saga right now... sorry it's going to take up so much of your comment space! :)
    Praying that your life is making more sense than mine...

  5. OH! PS. I forgot to mention... Matt is only 2 and 1/2 years older than me... that seems more reasonable in my mind...

  6. Wow. What a story! Thanks for telling me. When I read it, I just automatically wanted you to marry Matt. But it's so weird how someone will just mention that you would be good together with some person, and then your mind to dating them just because someone said something about it. I totally understand the whole brother me. I can't say much, but I've lived a friend's brother for a while now. I finally told her not too long ago, but it's still a little awkward to have it out there like that haha.
    I'll praying for you through all of this! It will all work out!

  7. Hey Kelsey
    I have to type this now before it all becomes a blur...
    I've just got home from youth group - and it was an awesome night, btw. :) So much 'God' stuff... I did the offering message, which I was freaked out about, but that was cool in the end... anyways...
    So! I decided to kinda broach this topic with my friends and stuff... and it was okay, but I could tell they just weren't at that point of being able to give me an older and wiser opinion.
    so - I went up to Matt's sister, Bec, our group leader. And asked 'so, what is your opinion about liking guys?' and of course she was like 'well, who's the guy?' and I just kinda said, 'well, it awkward...' and she left it at that and gave me some awesome advice, which pretty much made me decide I will let myself like him. :) *sigh* it was such a burden, I don't know why! but I feel better now... :)
    Thanks for listening!