So I had another long college conversation with my mom today.
I find myself thinking more and more about how much I love spending time with kids, and how I'd love to make a difference in their lives and help them make smart choices and feel loved. I've always said that I'd never be a teacher. I've grown up with two teachers, and I've seen everything - the good, the bad, and the absolutely ugly. But ever since I can remember, kids have just kind of...gravitated towards me. And I love them! Maybe I should go into teaching. I just don't know.
There are so many choices! I feel like I have these voices bouncing around in my head:
"No, no, not that career. How about this one? It's so much better."
"You're smart. Go into math and science. It's the way to go."
"You're really artsy. Go into the arts; you'll be happier."
"Don't forget about money! You want money, don't you?"
"Forget about college! Go work at McDonalds! This is too much stress!"
I don't know what to do! The only voice I want to hear in my head is God clearly stating which direction I should take for my life. I'm trying to be patient and wait to see what He has planned, but it's my senior year. It's here. It's starting. I need a plan. I need to solve things. I need, I need, I need...
I need to let go and let God.
Easier said than done, but it has to be done, or I will go crazy. I am a teeny, tiny little human, a small speck on earth, and God has my life totally under control. My life story is already finished. He's got it covered. Sometimes that's so hard to remember.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I thank God that He has everything taken care of. I thank God that He is so brilliant, and He has patience with a very impatient little girl like me. I thank God that He is so big when I feel so small.